When a new book arrives with my work between its covers, there's a lot to be happy about.
Sometimes my story is the cause of my excitement. I may have stretched myself creatively or pushed myself physically or had a lot of fun with the characters or the plot.
On occasion I'm jazzed that I've entered a new genre, found a new publisher, or worked with a new editor. Conversely, I may feel a sense of "coming home" when I work with an editor and publisher I know and trust.
Then there are times when the other contributions are so well written that I feel simultaneously grateful and nervous -- glad that my work is in such great company and also intimidated by the talent of the other authors, worried that my piece pales in comparison.
In the case of
The Big Book of Bondage, I have many sources of excitement. More of my stories have appeared in books edited by
Alison Tyler and published by
Cleis Press than any other editor or publisher, which is wonderful for me. This combination virtually guaranteed that my work would be in a book that is high-quality in both its writing and its packaging.
Even so, I am blown away by the writing in BBoB. These are compelling stories -- the characters, the plots, the tone, the language -- whether or not bondage, or even erotica, are your thang. There are several stories that have become some of my new favorite stories.
Kristina Llyod's "The Bondage Pig" is a masterpiece -- it's suspenseful, creepy, dirty, and surprisingly sweet. (
Kiki DeLovely reviewed "The Bondage Pig.")
Sadly, the more I read and revel in the other stories, the more I struggle with
I'm-not-worthy-itis
. To get past this place of pointless self judgement, it helps me to remember how I even ended up involved with book. It started with writing a piece for another Alison Tyler anthology.
I got the idea for the piece, oddly enough, from a Harry Potter book. In
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix the Weasley twins set off a huge box of fireworks, including "shocking-pink Catherine wheels." I liked the sound of the words, "Catherine wheel," and started thinking about and researching bondage wheels. Around the same time as I was researching wheels, I watched the documentary,
The Life and Times of Frida Kahlo. Although I was deeply moved and inspired by Kahlo's work, I had no idea until I'd written most of my story that I'd incorporated Kahlo into my piece.
I'd always liked Kahlo's paintings, and I'd heard about her as a queer and feminist icon since I was 18, but I'd never expected to feel such kinship with her, such compassion and companionship. What we have in common is chronic pain, isolation, and lots of time in bed -- all of which are vividly, passionately, and bluntly conveyed in many of her paintings. Pain, scars, and paint are all part of my story. It seems so obvious now, but at the time I was writing it, I was focused on researching body paint (I watched a LOT of youtube videos on body painting) and finding out who my characters were. I wasn't thinking about Frida Kahlo at all.
 |
| Frida Kahlo's "The Broken Column" |
As is so often the case, after I finished the first draft, I was convinced it was a total piece of crap -- an embarrassment and a mess. When I gave the story (and myself) a breather and returned to it for the revision process, I discovered there was a lot I liked about it. By the time I was done, I was proud that I'd struggled my way through it. Because I'd been so sick for the previous few years, I hadn't done much creative writing. Thus, the story was a bit of a creative rebirth for me, just as it is for one of my characters.
Along with connecting with care for the story and characters, I discovered the piece was way too long for the anthology for which it was intended. So I cut and cut and cut, and I emailed Alison about whether she had room for a longer piece. It turned out that she was now looking for even shorter stories than before, and I wasn't sure I wanted to pare down "River of Beauty" any further. I sent it to Alison to see what she thought. In reply, she asked me if she could use it for
The Big Book of Bondage. I couldn't say "yes" fast enough!
Now, thanks to the generous folks at Cleis Press, I also have two copies of The Big Book of Bondage to give away! For a chance to win a copy here's what to do:
- To be entered once in the drawing, comment on this post.
- To be entered up to three more times, comment on any of the posts below. Each comment gets you an additional entry.
- My video/reading of "River of Beauty"
- Sacchi Green's review of my story at Alison Tyler's blog
- My review of Giselle Renarde's story in BBoB
- Comments (entries) must be in by this Saturday, February 23 at 11:59 PM EST USA.
Please spread the word about this giveaway and share the link! I look forward to your comments!
- Sharon
